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'The pain digs deep': Wife marks one month since pastor husband's suicide

Tue 08 Oct 2019
By Heather Preston

The wife of US megachurch Pastor Jarrid Wilson has expressed her hope in God and determination to share the gospel as she grieves the loss of her husband one month on from his death.

Monday marked one month since Wilson, who was a major mental health advocate died.

Jarrid was the associate pastor at Harvest Christian Fellowship in California, co-founder of mental health charity Anthem of Hope and was transparent about his struggles with depression.

 

In a post on social media, Julianne Wilson paid tribute to her late husband and shared some of the struggles she has faced over the past four weeks.

"The pain digs deep," she said. "I find myself staring at our boys wondering how in the world I'm supposed to do this on my own forever. You were so good at this. You were so good at everything."

She went on to say she takes comfort in the promises of God and the hope of being reunited with her husband in heaven.

"Every second I'm further from you here on earth, yet closer to being in heaven with you.

"I'm conflicted, confused, hurting and also full of hope knowing that God will wipe every tear and right every wrong.

Julianne went on to vow her commitment to living her life for Christ and sharing the gospel message: "I'm running the race full force. With tears in my eyes and hope in my heart I will continue to tell every single person I meet about the love and joy of Jesus. I'll finish our mission here on earth, although I will forever miss doing it hand in hand with you."

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One month without you . Time always went by really fast with you around. It took 2 dates for you to tell me you loved me, and a month for you to get everything lined up to move from CA to TN to marry me. You always, always knew what you wanted, and I always, always knew you wanted me . Time is so much slower now without you here. Seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks and now a month goes by and I feel as if I'm staring at sand dripping through an hourglass. The thoughts are never ending. The pain digs deep. I've never had more questions about anything in my life, and that's mostly because you always had an answer for everything I needed to know. I so wish I could just talk to you right now to clear things up. To check in. To run my fingers through your beautiful, full head of hair and tell you everything is going to be okay . Time is one of the hardest parts of grief for me. Every second I'm further from you here on earth, yet closer to being in heaven with you. The in-between is a tough place to be. I find myself staring at our boys wondering how in the world I'm supposed to do this on my own forever. You were so good at this. You were so good at everything . Everything is wrong without you here, but I know everything is right for you there. I'm conflicted, confused, hurting and also full of hope knowing that God will wipe every tear and right every wrong. Life really is just a vapor, yours just happened to be the sweetest one, so this hurts more than anything I've ever felt . I'm not backing down, Jare. I'm running the race full force. With tears in my eyes and hope in my heart I will continue to tell every single person I meet about the love and joy of Jesus. I'll finish our mission here on earth, although I will forever miss doing it hand in hand with you. And hey, just be ready for me once I meet you again. I'm gonna need a really, really big Jarrid hug. I love you. ??

A post shared by Juli Wilson (@itsjuliwilson) on

   

Wilson's death took place on World Suicide Prevention Day, hours after he had officiated a funeral for a Christian woman who took her own life.

 

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